Alizé Dressed In Melody

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize (don't patronize me)

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no, you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't

I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight (and I will give up this fight)

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no, you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't


((OOC: Song can be found on songerize.com))

Guess I should offer to get masks for everyone like last year. I'll have to get Jordan or someone to worldhop me back home.

. . . It's sure been a while since I've been there . . . I wonder if Eyguebelle's changed at all. Probably not.



[Private -- hackable to those with the necessary computer skills]

I don't know what to tell him. Either of them. I don't know how to talk to him, I don't -- I don't even know if we can be friends. It was bad enough having him lose all his memories that first time to Yuuko, but this -- I know it's still him, but what am I supposed to say?! "Sorry, I can't hang out with you because every time I look at you I'm reminded of everything you forgot"?

I can't do that to him.

And the stupidest thing is that I actually feel better talking to him. It was just a few sentences! I've been with Dyme for almost a year, I shouldn't -- it shouldn't be this way. The whole thing will just happen all over again, exactly the same as before.

Sometimes I wish Jing had just stolen me away and been done with it.

No I will not lay down
I will not live my life like a ghost in this town
I am not lonely
Swear to God I'm just alone
I'm back on my feet
I can just close my eyes and forget everything
My house is empty
Every memory blown away

Oh the sound of the wind
Through my bones makes me laugh
At all the bodies I kissed and never knew
Oh the sound of a lover's sympathy
Falling down to the floor
Just barely out of reach
From me

No I will not go back
Every word that's been hiding inside of my head
Is running blindly
Look behind me nothing's left
I can sit in a room
I can hear myself breathing and be quite amused
My life is simple
Like the wrinkles on my skin

Oh the sound of the wind
Through my heart makes me glad
For all the ones that never knew my name
Oh the sound of a lover's sympathy
I had to go, could not stay here
They were always out of reach
From me

I'm going to New York. And I'm staying there.

((Quick hiatus break~ Can't promise I'll be too swift on replies.))

[locked SO hard. She can't stop uber-hackers from getting in, but they will be very unwelcome]

I hate this. It wasn't anything like this with Jing. Or even when Gramps . . .

I don't know if I even want to start over again. If Dyme isn't Demyx, what's the point?!

. . . I still . . . I still have to go see him, though. I told Demyx I would. Maybe we'll be friends, but . . .

. . . but it won't be the same. I don't . . . I don't know if I could fall in love with him again.

I'm sick of losing the people I care about most.

( Actually screwed up and forgot to lock )

*sitting on her bed at the Order, a small bag of her belongings with her and a pair of crutches. looking around at the room both in an attempt to get a good last look and to distract herself (even though Komui said she's always welcome to visit)*

I can finally get rid of my chair today. Komui said I can use crutches from now on as long as I'm careful.

Thanks so much for everything, everyone. ♥

( locked, hackable only by those with uber skills )

I'm at Ari's world, if anybody needs me.

Komui, it was a false alarm. My legs are working again, so it must have been the virus. I hate these things . . .

Demyx, I'm sorry for, um. Going crazy on you and Eyguebelle like that . . .

Demyx, I need a hop to Ari's world right now.

[[You won't actually need to take her there, Tanz. The comments will reveal all~]]

I was able to stand up for longer today. I'll be walking before the end of next week! Just watch!

Demyx, can we go swimming again sometime? I think it really helped.

( Private, hackable. )

[locked to Demyx]

Demyx, Axel said he wasn't interested, but . . . that witch on the community, Yuuko, says she can get your heart back for a price. I just don't know what it is. She told me you'd have to ask her yourself.

I'm going to be offline for a while.

( Locked; Pro-Hackable )

Ow. Getting feeling back hurts.

Has anyone seen Demyx? I haven't seen him around for a few days now.

Komui, I'm ready for my surgery.

It's so weird going from a mezzo soprano to a tenor.

Ari, I'm going to be staying in Komui's world for a bit. If you need anything, just get a hold of me, all right?

*is sitting outside the back gate to Rusty Nail, away from the Shinku's nest, although it's still easily visible from here. Is not a happy camper. His feet are dangling over the footrests of his chair, and the wheels are now at the wrong height. Plus he is lanky and almost gangly-looking, which he doesn't like either. Has his chin propped on one fist and is muttering a surprisingly varied string of curses under his breath. Did I mention that this body has done nothing for his temper?*

I talked with Dr. Uryan the other day. He told me the story behind the Shinku.

There was a man, who was born and raised just to answer the question of whether or not there was a god. Ever since he was a baby, he was kept locked up in a tower, and wasn't given anything to read except scripture and other religious texts, and had no one to talk to except priests. When he was grown up, they finally took him out of the tower and asked him the question. And he said:

"Yes, there is. For I am God!"

He even had a name for himself, one that was so long that they had to make a room just so they could write it out on the walls. And a lot of people believed he was God, because he knew so much. They say he knew everything. And when his body died, they took his living brain and preserved it: the Holy Brain of Rusty Nail, the Shinku. It was used to monitor the city, and Dr. Uryan used it to perform his Holy Body grafting technique that the city got so famous for.

But the Shinku got tired of being trapped in a container for so long, so Dr. Uryan offered his assistant, Shin Lu, to it. The Shinku was going to take over Shin Lu's body and use her so it could experience the outside world. And it would have, if Jing hadn't shown up and stopped it and Dr. Uryan.

It wasn't... it wasn't all good, either. Because Jing stopped the Shinku, it got angry, and all the Holy Grafting operations that Dr. Uryan had performed on people started going bad. A lot of people died. But Jing released the Shinku, and got Dr. Uryan to use the Holy Grafting one more time to put the Shinku in the body of the city's Guardian Bird, that had died a while ago. Now the Shinku lives free in the body of a giant bird, and Dr. Uryan almost never uses the Holy Grafting.

The... the Doctor thinks the Shinku won't talk to me because it wants me to appreciate the fact that I can still get around. That I'm still free. I think he's right.

He said nowadays the Shinku only intervenes for really serious things, and even then not all the time. I still think what happened to Al is serious, though, so I'm going to stay a little longer and see if it will talk to me about that, at least. It's a long shot, but I don't have anything better to do right now anyway.

And Haruhi, Ed, Eva, Demyx, thank you. I don't know what came over me. I'm going to keep going! Eva's right, there's still lots of things that I can do. I'm not going to let this keep me down any more. Gramps and the others wouldn't like it, and Silver would probably call me pathetic if he knew. If House and Komui can't help me, I'll just have to learn to like my chair.

Ari, are you doing okay? Eyguebelle hasn't been bullying you or anything, has he?

( Private. (Another hackable.) )

((Post-Jing drama! Because threads are taking too long.))

( Private, but hackable to friends and anyone like Ten or Dietrich. )

*is waiting on the outskirts of Zaza, looking out over the cliffs across the sea. it's a bit chilly today, so is wearing a jacket over her usual outfit. is unusually sombre, Silver's death still sinking in somewhat. the hi-fi gun is kept in her lap, her white-knuckled grip on the weapon the only indication that she's not particularly happy about this trip*